If you suspect an affair is taking place in your marriage, then two things are initially critical:

• Find out about the affair immediately if not sooner.
• Be ready emotionally to handle the situation wisely from a position of strength and not panic.

Please do not look for products with the idea that you will find out, prove your case, and kick the scumbag out of your life.  You may be opening a Pandora’s box here.  But, as Dr. Phil says, “You cannot fix anything you do not acknowledge.”  And, in the case of an affair, there is often no guarantee that the problem of adultery can even be solved in every case.  But, one thing you can do is learn all you can and do all you can to bring about the best possible outcome given the situation.

This product is an online e-book so you can purchase it and be reading it in just a few minutes.

I want to be very careful when I say this because I am inclined to say that it is important to find out and bring the crisis to a resolution fast to save the marriage.  But, the reason I want to be careful about saying that is that some people will panic and that is the very worst possible thing a person could do.

Whatever you do, you need to find out what the situation really is.  Obviously, if you are considering this e-book, there is some loss of intimacy and loss of trust.  There is a closing off or secrecy or a suspicion of it.  So, what you need is to find out and handle it from a position of emotional integrity and strength.

One danger is holding on too tight.  The more one spouse feels smothered, the harder that spouse will try to get away.  You have to open the cage door and give your spouse freedom.  Intimacy in a marriage involved revealing rather than spying and distrust.  So, the goal here should not be to cling or trap or hold on or gain control but to find reality and handle it wisely, comfortably, confidently from a position of strength.  That will be your best chance at saving your marriage usually.

But, you have to be prepared, too because if your spouse feels your spying and clinging, that could very well backfire.  If you get this product, you should probably get it with the idea that you are going to gain skills that are useful to protect yourself whether it is your spouse cheating on you or whether you know someone who is being cheated on.  See it as a way to get to the truth, to develop discernment.

Affairs develop over time and they go through various phases.  The feeling of falling in love often takes place when there is a shared sense of danger of discovery, and if the discovery takes place early, that adventure often quickly sours and then it becomes a choice between two relationships.  Often the unfaithful spouse will try to keep two lovers competing for affection, feeling insecure, trying to outdo the other, and this is not always intentional, but it is very common.

If the adventure is broken, usually the legitimate spouse has a better chance if this takes place at the beginning of the affair than if the affair is allowed to continue.  Some people may say to their spouse, “I love you and I would like to have you with me, but I won’t live in a harem or share you with someone else.  So, if you want to save this marriage, then we need to move far away because I will not tolerate our family living anywhere near that other woman or man.  If not, then this marriage is over.  Trust has been broken and it needs to be rebuilt.  The kids need us both, and I don’t want to go through a divorce with you, and I would not even think of suggesting it, but neither can I tolerate a continuing affair.”

But, time is of the essence, and the faster you find out and are ready to handle it well, the better chance you have of resolving the problem quickly.  And, if it turns out there is no affair taking place, wouldn’t it be great to know?  And, suppose one does take place sometime later.  Wouldn’t it be good to be prepared to prevent the affair or to bring it to a quick resolution?

How to Catch a Cheating Spouse

 

How to Catch a Cheating Spouse originally appeared on Retail Stores on September 8, 2006.

Product: PC Pandora

Are you ready to open up Pandora's box?

Until that box is opened, people live in slavery to fear of the unknown, but once the box is opened and the worst of all happens, things settle down and there is no more unknown to fear. Intimacy is vital to any marriage or romantic relationship, and couples should not live in fear that something will be found out about them by their spouses.

If your spouse shows up unexpectedly, that should be a pleasant surprise and not an awkward situation.  Our attitude toward our spouse should be that they should feel welcome to spy, to look in our purse, our wallet, review our credit card expenditures, our phone calls, and internet usage.  After all, if we are not doing anything wrong, then we should not have any fear but rather desire that our spouse be free to examine anything in any way and be trusted.

The only exception to that is when one spouse is a bully and a control freak and abuse is depriving the couple of intimacy, and then the loss of intimacy and the secrecy needs to be corrected by curtailing the controlling and bullying behavior.  But even so, secrecy solves nothing.  It just hides the problem ineffectively, but the real problem needs to be opened up and addressed and good habits of behavior need to be established.  No couple should feel bullied in a relationship.

So, are you afraid of what you will find?  Or are you ready to open up your eyes and see what is there and deal with it constructively?  if not, it is better to get ready first before opening that Pandora's box.

But, if you're ready to face the fears and open the box and begin the healing process, PC Pandora can help. It is better to find out early than to let an affair go on for months or years without resolution.  Often if the affair is caught in the early stages, it can be brought to an end, but once the affair is entrenched, saving the marriage can be much more difficult or nearly impossible. But, only you can decide at this point whether this product will be helpful to you.  

Other items for internet security and protection against inappropriate materials

PC Pandora originally appeared on Retail Stores on September 8, 2006.